A Brief History of FNF

 

Based on an article from FNF's McKenzie newsletter #41 in June 1999 and revised constantly....

 

Founding Fathers

All who access this site have one thing in common. Be they FNF members or supporters, politicians, journalists, lawyers or other professionals, they will all have an interest - either personal or work-related - in the making, interpretation or effect of some aspect of family law.

FNF is a charity which represents those on the receiving end, rather than the vested interests of the practitioners. It was founded by people who had direct experience of the way the law actually affects families. They understood, in a way which even the most respected judge, barrister, legislator or social worker can only imagine, what it is like to be one of the 'ordinary people' whose lives are determined by the decisions of family law professionals - in the case of the average FNF member, the decision to restrict or terminate his contact with his own children.

Twenty-five years ago, in May 1974, two such fathers got together and decided to do something about it. They knew that a change in society would require concerted effort by a group of like-minded people. So they founded an organisation and called it Families Need Fathers.

Alick Elithorn and Keith Parkin are not names which will be familiar to many FNF members now. But it was their vision and determination that started it all, and they must head the FNF roll of honour.

Alick Elithorn, a child psychiatrist at a London teaching hospital, became the first FNF Chairman. He knew that his personal experience of the system would be familiar to thousands of others. His solicitor advised him that to apply for custody was a hopeless exercise, and he lost all access rights. As he said at the time, "Your own lawyer, in this respect, is often your very worst enemy".

Alick Elithorn was also the first FNF Editor, (his wife Sheila was the second) and the FNF quarterly newsletter was produced on a regular basis until 1985. Elizabeth Smee, Peter Scott and John Astrop designed the FNF 'double F' logo (which is still in use) in 1974.

Keith Parkin was a financial consultant and art collector, hailing from the West Country. He supplied the opening publicity, writing a stirring piece in The Guardian of 12 June 1974 which began:

"It is time society decided that children need two parents, irrespective of whether the natural parents are married, separated, or divorced."
The article was a clarion call: "A society called Families Need Fathers has been formed. It will campaign for equal parental rights...Families Need Fathers will prick the social conscience."

The words struck a chord with many readers, whose experiences in the divorce courts were at last spelled out in print. As Keith Parkin put it: "To try to assess children's needs in a litigious context only exacerbates a situation which is already complex and very sensitive, and the whole process is an affront to the dignity of men, women and children."

In those pre-Children Act 1989 days some of the terms used were different but the reality was eerily familiar: "Everyone connected with decisions concerning custody, care and control pays lip service to the principle that the interests of the child are paramount."

A supportive piece by Gareth Parry in The Guardian on 19 September quoted Alick Elithorn at length, but in 25 November the backlash began, with Jill Tweedie becoming the first to disparage FNF in print. It seemed that fathers asking to see their children were striking a raw nerve somewhere.

One 1974 FNF recruit was actor and playwright Terence Frisby, who was told about the new group by his accountant Frank Young. The author of the hit show There's A Girl In My Soup, Terry found that wealth and celebrity were no advantage in a system which was primarily concerned with the best interests of lawyers, and which sawfathers as expendable (except in cash terms). His account of his personal trials and tribulations is recounted in his excellent book Outrageous Fortune, but less well-known is the support he provided for others over the years. Terry also made Split Up, a BBC film about the problems faced by fathers.

In 1975 FNF's Walk In Talk In meetings (WITIs) were established at the Conway Hall in London's Red Lion Square, where they were held every fortnight for the next 16 years.

In 1976 Colin Shaw became FNF Chairman, serving until 1979. He had enjoyed a distinguished career at the BBC, holding various high ranking posts, and had no personal reason for joining FNF. Colin was followed by engineer and journalist Corin Hughes Stanton, who was briefly FNF Chairman in 1980.

Notable contributors in the early years include husband and wife Jim and Pat Wheeler (who organised the 1982 FNF National Access Conference), Sheila Burns (author of Divorce: the Child's Point of View and also an early FNF Editor) and Ken Corcoran, Pat Goldacre and Robin Benians, Martin Richards of Cambridge University, solicitor Mary Kane, and the Pearly King of Peckham George Major.

Some of those enjoying the FNF Fathers' Day Boat Trip this year may not know that the first such event took place as long ago as 1975. Coverage in The Guardian (which featured a photograph of fathers and children aboard the Silver Marlin) highlighted the inappropriate nature of the Probation Service's involvement in family cases and the fact that there were no sanctions applied to those defying court orders for access. CAFCASS may be an improvement but  the judcicial impotence in the face of defiance continues to this day.

 

 

FNF members aboard the first Fathers' Day Boat Trip in 1975

 

Two fathers who read that first article in The Guardian and joined FNF in 1974 may be familiar names to McKenzie readers. Much of the credit for keeping FNF going must go to Trevor Berry and Colin Hale. While others have moved on or given up - for whatever reason - Trevor and Colin had been constant, never departing from the founding principles and steadfastly picking up the pieces when things looked like going 'pear-shaped'.

FNF became a registered charity in 1979, and Trevor was elected Chairman in 1980, a position he held until 1994 (he became President later that year). John Olbrich served as Secretary and Bill Lettington became Editor of the new Access journal which replaced the newsletter in 1985. During this time FNF expanded in the English regions. David Bagwell (who did a lot of work on FNF's submission on the Children Bill) in Birmingham and John Latimer in Manchester got things under way. Derek Huxley (Wirral), Jon Ruben (Nottingham) and Penny Ewens (Leeds) helped to establish the nationwide network, and Vernon Couch hoisted the FNF flag in Wales. FNF training was organised by Vic Parks, who has also served as Secretary.

As with all organisations, FNF has had its ups and downs. Of those who moved on, John and Margaret Bell set up Both Parents Forever, Peter Snow founded the Campaign for Justice in Divorce, Henry Hodgins now chairs the Association of Shared Parenting, and David Cannon co-founded the Shared Parenting Information Group with Arthur Baker (briefly FNF Chairman).

James de la Mare, Reg George and Geoffrey Howard (a former FNF Editor) are just three of those who stayed on and continue to contribute. David Segal was an early treasurer and still does our payroll!

Raising money, of course, was a problem. FNF got by on donations and subscriptions, but with a much smaller membership base. The first grant came in 1985 via the Greater London Council (£860). The next year the GLC was disbanded, but the London Boroughs Grants Committee which took over yielded £675 in 1986 and £709 in 1987. Today we measure our grants in tens of thousands a recognisiton of the service we provide.

In 1989 a new London branch was set up and the McKenzie newsletter was first published.

In 1992 the FNF Office at Curtain Road was opened, thanks to David Graham. Tim Rait became the first paid FNF employee. FNF's records were computerised, the membership having grown substantially. A new member in 1992 was award-winning animator Stan Hayward, who has contributed ever since.

In late 1994 Bruce Lidington, who was active in London Branch, became FNF Chairman. An actor by profession, Bruce had an easy manner in front of the cameras which he used on FNF's behalf to good effect, and he also had many letters published in the press. His sudden death from heart failure in August 1996 was a sad day for all who knew him.

Following Bruce's death it fell to Vice-Chairman Elisabeth Lakey to step in at a difficult time, and she became acting Chair until the 1997 election. Others who rallied round to keep FNF afloat were John Baker (then Editor) and Ian Mackay (one of FNF's press spokesmen). Ian sadly passed away in February 2006.

One guest speaker introduced by Elisabeth at the 1997 FNF AGM was Adrienne Burgess, about to publish Fatherhood Reclaimed. In other years FNF has also played host to Donald Dewar MP, Lord Justice Balcombe, Judge Roger Bird, Erin Pizzey, Joan Lestor MP, Earl Russell, Jonathan Whybrow, and Ros Hepplewhite (the first Chief Executive of the CSA).

Conferences run by FNF included Preserving Family Links (with Sir John Arnold, President of the Family Division, and Claire Rayner) in 1984. Notable publications were Divorce and your Child (first edition 1980) and Children & Family Breakdown Custody and Access in 1983.

FNF saw in the Matrimonial and Family Proceedings Act 1984 and made representations on the Child Abduction & Custody Act 1985, had a discernible influence on the Children Act 1989, warned (less succesfully) of the shortcomings of the Child Support Act 1991, and submitted on the soon-to-be implemented Family Law Act 1996.

FNF was involved in the first pan-European linking of fathers' groups in 1984 and has sent delegates to the annual European Conference on Fathers for the Rights of Children organised by Professor Eduard Bakalar of Prague since 1991. FNF also has links with groups in America, Australia and South Africa.

 

 

Trevor Berry leads a protest by FNF members in 1978

 

The current era began with the election of author Jim Parton as Chairman, Jim was Editor of McKenzie the FNF national journal, its last member-editor. Since him Rebecca Kingdom-Kruscewski took the helm followed in 2008 by Nick Barnard.. Modernisation has been the priority, with revision of the FNF constitution already a major achievement, while our submissions to Government are improving and increasing. John Baker was elected in 2002 and is our current Chairman.

The FNF Website, created by John Foley, Francis Fuchs and Eddie Lowe in 1994, became  established as a vital resource, with over 1500 visitors every week. Bob Rushworh created an online CSA calculator in 2002 and made other significant changes as webmaster until 2003. John Robertson as current webmaster gave the site a much needed makeover, introducing colour and easier navigation to the many existing documents. The whole website was relaunched in 2007 and continues to develop with 3.000 visitors a week.

 

The FNF shared parenting book

Written by Sue Secker (seen below, with actor Nigel Planer), The FNF book, For The Sake Of The Children, was launched at the House of Commons in March 2001. This public event marked the successful conclusion of the first FNF project funded in part by the Government. The Department for Children Schools and Families commissioned a new version in 2008.

 

 

This book represents the most important single step in the history of FNF. Statements of the problems excluded parents suffer and how they can best deal with them are reaching both the people in need of advice and support in a wider way than ever before. They are also reaching people who make decisions about our children. The book clearly labels us a supporters of good parenting in difficult situations. Thus helping our image and our cause generally.

The book contained a preface from the then Deputy Home Secretary supporting our cause: the most important such endorsement we have had and the key to more support and influence.

The original aim of the project was to provide realistic information based on current attitudes and practices, for anyone facing family breakdown. Although it focuses on the problems of the parent likely to be 'relegated to the second parenting division' it was written specifically with both parents (plus wider family on both 'sides') in mind. The book was intended primarily for those who contact FNF, but early publicity indicated that there would be more widespread demand.

To date, there have been positive citations or articles featured in a diverse range of publications including the Sunday Mirror (Virginia Ironside: 'It is essential reading' - plus referring readers to FNF), the Independent, the Times (FNF fed directly into the Great Ormonds Street column on the effects of parental separation upon children), TV Quick (FNF top of the list of 'helpful reading') and women's magazines.

 

 

Jim Parton addresses the book launch

In 2006, through the hard work of staff and trustees, FNF’s work was recognised with a significant government grant which allowed us to establish professional management and a policy and research department. As a result our work-rate has accelerated dramatically.

 

In 2006 we also moved into a much larger office in Curtain Road.

 

The Future

FNF through perseverance and intelligent work has become the credible voice in the public arena and is better known than ever - membership continues to grow. But there remains a huge amount of work to be done, and nothing is accomplished without the help of rank and file members.

FNF now has a turnover in excess of £300,000 and we have ten staff. But volunteers remain the lifeblood of the charity, work at the offices in London and in the 32 branches throughout the United Kingdom.

For this is what FNF is about. FNF represents a constituency consisting largely of parents who have found that the courts do not consider blood to be thicker than water; parents who have found that Government is less concerned with supporting families than with the Treasury; parents who have found that shared care of children is discouraged by the powers-that-be, while incentives to divorce are touted by Legal Aid lawyers. And parents - unmarried fathers - who find that the system discriminates against them and their children.

FNF was founded on principles of equality, yet the family courts remain in the dark ages (though the lawyers' fees are modern enough). The law is gender neutral, and since 1974 a new generation - our children - has been raised on sexual equality. Yet the world they are growing up in does not treat their parents equally after divorce or separation, and they see their fathers awarded derisory contact on the one hand while being hounded for child support on the other. In the 21st century a father who wants to care for his children faces financial ruin in the courts to get a contact order which he cannot enforce, while being taxed by the CSA and referred to as an 'absent father'. It is little wonder that some simply give up in despair.

And so concludes a brief history - with apologies to those who have not been credited above - of Families Need Fathers. It would be fair to say that none of us wants to see another 34 years elapse before the need for FNF is done away with. But if FNF has proved one thing, it is that there are plenty of fathers who are not going to give up on their children.

Our plans for the future can be seen in this document

So thanks to everyone who has made FNF what it is today and to those who will continue to support its work.